It is an amazing thing the ways in which God teaches. In the least expected ways, yes that is so. But also in the most profound ways. Through suffering of the body, mind, heart and soul we are taught so much.
To observe humanity vs to experience as a human. To maintain some shred of faith, dignity and belief in everything, in yourself, even through the most trying of times. To be taught gratitude and appreciation you maybe once had but began to lose sight of. To have something you love so much, something you love the most, taken away from you. Stripped bare and tossed about until you have nothing left to fear. To know that what you lost, that thing you loved so much, to know that even in your swooning you did not do it the justice it deserved. Then to get up and continue on.
And so for a moment you feel it all. You see it all so clearly that you forget to breathe. You are left speechless and crippled by humility. And as you stumble about in the blinding light, you are desperate for something solid, for something to hold onto. In your nakedness and your disorienting clarity you seek another to love and comfort and mend your broken body.
But always you gaze back to that shore. Because in your darkest, deepest, defeat was your greatest lesson. And you chose to take it , use it and persevere. For what worse can you feel until your pain is just the feeling of being alive? You will keep after it until it kills you. You know this better than anyone. And in the off-chance it doesn't, that small bit of hope that could be truth, how beautifully epic would that story be. And Epic has a journey. A long, long journey.
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